Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Some Things Just Happen

It's no secret (well maybe it is to my blogging friends) that LW and I struggled over the summer. Most of it me, alot of it him. Just so you know I'm not pointing fingers here.

I won't lie. It was a rough summer, probably my worst on record. But in my defense I had a lot thrown at me within the first 6 months of the year.

- I had a complete hysterectomy at 36 years old.

- His oldest daughter came for a visit only a week after I returned to work from my surgery.

- His oldest daughter moved in with us in June.

- Kassidy moved in for the summer.

That's a lot to handle for a girl who always wanted to be a Mom but never could biologically. Lots of raw emotion was spent this year. And by summer's end, I was spent. I was dried up from all of the tears. I was exhausted. I needed a break.

The very day that Kassidy went back to home to her Mom's for the school year I had my melt down and asked LW and Lauren to leave for a few days. Technically I asked him to move out, but he did the smart thing and just packed a few things and left. Those three days, as hard as they were, were LIFE changing for our family.

LW and I were able to see how strong our bond of love for one another truly is. And I'm happy to say, I've never ever been this in love. My heart ached while he was away. I know without a doubt that he is my soulmate.

But what I didn't expect to grow, was my relationship with Lauren. About a week or so ago, we actually sat down and had a heart to heart. Something we needed, but were both too engrossed in our daily lives to take the step forward to do. But the opportunity presented itself and we took advantage. LW was away so it was Lauren and I, at the kitchen table, for two hours, talking, crying, getting it all out.

This summer caused us all to experience things we have never experienced before. It took each of us out of our comfort zones and taught us all a very valuable lesson. Love, if it truly exists, can get you through the toughest of times. And that is exactly why, today, we are a better family for those struggles. We never gave up and through it all continued to love one another.

It's not perfect, but it's better. Time spent with LW is now more precious than it was before. And time spent with Lauren is equally as special, for now, she knows, the lengths we can go as a family to make this work.

Our journey is not over. But I'm happy to say, it's one journey I'm finally ready to take and for that I am ever so grateful. God gave me a purpose with LW and his girls and that purpose is to bring them all together as a family.

One of the last things Lauren said to me that night was in regards to how, for the first time in her life that she can remember, she finally feels like a real family. And that right there makes this family worth fighting for.

We'll weather this storm....together.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Hanging in There

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. Lots of things have been going on that have prevented me from being able to post and/or read blogs.

- I'm stuck in a conference room at work with about 9 people so I have no Internet time unless I try to get on at lunch (which I'm doing now).

- Kassidy started volleyball so our Saturday mornings have been hectic (that's a lot of the time when I would try to read blogs if I couldn't get to them during the week).

- Our laptop at home is acting weird, thus we can't connect to the Internet. Supposidly I need to reinstall IE and I just haven't had the time.

- We've all been sick. All four of us are fighting a cold. Lauren is better finally though.

But all is well.

Lauren starts college tomorrow! YAY She seems really excited about it. As far as I know Dad and her got everything set yesterday.

Kassidy is fantastic. Her volleyball team is 1-1.

LW is great. He's been really busy officiating volleyball and taking Kassidy to her volleyball practices (we all go to the games!).

I'm doing good. Work is kicking my tail. I need to take some vacation days before the year ends so I'm looking forward to some time off alone. I need I recoup day.

Hope all is well!