Monday, December 27, 2010

2010 In Review

I have to say, it's been one very crazy trying year....emotionally and physically.

Having my hysterectomy in January was the most difficult decision I have ever made. There's nothing that can or ever will take away the pain of not being able to have children. I'm grateful to be pain free in my abdomen area, but there's nothing worse than an eternal broken heart. I know my friends and family probably think I'm okay with not being a mother, but I'm not. Most days I fake it, some days I ask myself why me, but I will never second guess my decision to be pain free. I haven't felt this good physically in years! I guess I just didn't know what a true broken heart felt like.

But I'll be okay. In the new year I'm going to focus less on what I don't have and look to what I do have. Be grateful for having a loving man and two beautiful step daughters, who hopefully appreciate all that I do for them.

Once I was settled and physically healed from surgery, which seemed to take forever, I was on the road to happier times.

LW and I got engaged in May, which was a total suprise! I mean I knew he would eventually ask me, just not in the manner in which he asked and just not at the time he asked me. He caught me completely off guard. I love that about him. He's always surprising me with his love. I can honestly say, I've fallen deeper in love with him this year. Yes we had a difficult summer with his oldest daughter moving home, but we pulled through and came out pretty strong in the end.

Lauren moving home was hard, but we managed and are coasting along just fine now. It was hard for me to adjust to another woman in my house...let alone, someone I would eventually be a step mother too. We don't see too much of her now as she's busy with her life and I know it saddens LW. We need to make a better effort in the coming year to create family time. We can't expect her to want to spend time with us, if we don't try to do the same.

All in all it was a trying year...filled with happy times and sad times, but as the year wraps up, we came out a much stronger family. Our love for each other will pull us through the challenges ahead. I have much to look forward to next year....a wedding, a honeymoon, our first family vacation with Lauren, Lauren moving to her own place...we have loads to be grateful for. I need to get better at reminding myself of that!

Here's hoping each of you have a blessed New Year!

2 comments:

gayle said...

I am so glad you had a wonderful year!!! It is so hard living with others especially young girls!

LV said...

It helps to address issues at all times. You are doing just fine. Try to let the past go and remember things happen for a reason. You have had your ups and downs, but you are still a winner in the long run. Life will never be perfect. Just make each day the best you can for yourself and those you love.