Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Some Things Just Happen

It's no secret (well maybe it is to my blogging friends) that LW and I struggled over the summer. Most of it me, alot of it him. Just so you know I'm not pointing fingers here.

I won't lie. It was a rough summer, probably my worst on record. But in my defense I had a lot thrown at me within the first 6 months of the year.

- I had a complete hysterectomy at 36 years old.

- His oldest daughter came for a visit only a week after I returned to work from my surgery.

- His oldest daughter moved in with us in June.

- Kassidy moved in for the summer.

That's a lot to handle for a girl who always wanted to be a Mom but never could biologically. Lots of raw emotion was spent this year. And by summer's end, I was spent. I was dried up from all of the tears. I was exhausted. I needed a break.

The very day that Kassidy went back to home to her Mom's for the school year I had my melt down and asked LW and Lauren to leave for a few days. Technically I asked him to move out, but he did the smart thing and just packed a few things and left. Those three days, as hard as they were, were LIFE changing for our family.

LW and I were able to see how strong our bond of love for one another truly is. And I'm happy to say, I've never ever been this in love. My heart ached while he was away. I know without a doubt that he is my soulmate.

But what I didn't expect to grow, was my relationship with Lauren. About a week or so ago, we actually sat down and had a heart to heart. Something we needed, but were both too engrossed in our daily lives to take the step forward to do. But the opportunity presented itself and we took advantage. LW was away so it was Lauren and I, at the kitchen table, for two hours, talking, crying, getting it all out.

This summer caused us all to experience things we have never experienced before. It took each of us out of our comfort zones and taught us all a very valuable lesson. Love, if it truly exists, can get you through the toughest of times. And that is exactly why, today, we are a better family for those struggles. We never gave up and through it all continued to love one another.

It's not perfect, but it's better. Time spent with LW is now more precious than it was before. And time spent with Lauren is equally as special, for now, she knows, the lengths we can go as a family to make this work.

Our journey is not over. But I'm happy to say, it's one journey I'm finally ready to take and for that I am ever so grateful. God gave me a purpose with LW and his girls and that purpose is to bring them all together as a family.

One of the last things Lauren said to me that night was in regards to how, for the first time in her life that she can remember, she finally feels like a real family. And that right there makes this family worth fighting for.

We'll weather this storm....together.


Allison said...

I am so very glad that things are better for you, Danica. I've spent a lot of time thinking about you and am really glad that you've had that aha! moment with both LW and Lauren. I wish you all the happiness this world can offer.

Unknown said...

That's what makes it worthwhile...to know that together, you all complete one another and as a whole, you are a family.

For me, I discovered that without me in the picture, Boo has no motivation to reach out and be a dad to Baby Boo. I have kept in touch with her mom and he hasn't seen her in months. I get it now, I was the one the one holding them together. Sad that he can't make it work without me. I want her to know her dad just like your girls know theirs.

Liz said...

<3 you!!

LV said...

I think about you and get concerned when we do not hear from you. Glad you are back today, even with all your struggles. It is not going to be easy for any family when you combine them with grown children. Our road of life will always have bad bumps in it. It will take an awful lot of giving and taking on every ones part. If the bonds are strong enough, time will take care of it for you. Take care and stay in touch.

Stephanie said...

Oh I have been thinking about you! I am so glad to hear you...your heart is on the mend. Life, marriage, relationships they can be hard work. (but the right one is so worth it) Sending more hugs and a big Yeah you!

gayle said...

So glad to hear this!! Living with others is so hard. I know with my husband and I our biggest fights were when our daughters were living at home. I think teens, young adults just put stresses on a relationship!!