Friday, May 28, 2010

16 Years Ago

Today would have been my 16th wedding anniversary to my first husband.

ACK yes I'm one of those who has been married twice, going on a third time...but I can explain!

My first husband was an amazing man. We had such a beautiful relationship. I met him when I was 17, still in high school. He had graduated a year or two before me. We had met through a mutual friend and hit it off instantly.

We knew we were meant to be together...through good times and bad. We dated a little over three years by the time we tied the knot in a small ceremony....the sun was shining and it was warm out.

As we grew older, we grew apart. We were better friends than lovers. And eventually, shortly after building our first house together, we filed for divorce.....11 years together....8 of them married.

To this day we are still friends. He attended my mom's funeral almost three years ago, and even visited her in the hospital two or three days before she died. We often exchange emails to catch up on our daily life. He's happily remarried, with no children. I'm in constant touch with his brother and his family through Facebook. While my ex and I have emailed through Facebook we have yet to 'friend' each other on there. I just think it would be too weird, so neither of us have attempted it.

I never hated him and I never will. He was one of the best things to happen to me in my life. I treasure the special time we had together and will always remember that he loved me and I loved him. One would think we could have fixed what was wrong, but for some reason, in our hearts, we did what was best for us...parted ways, happily, never regretting one moment of our time together.

Now if you ask me about my bastard second husband, I'll tell you...he was a drunk, alcoholic, who physically abused me when he was drinking....who had the best family ever, but that was not enough to keep me with him. We dated three months before we got engaged....we were engaged 13 months, and married 2 years and 11 months by the time the divorce was final. Worst three + years of my life. He had the best family, thoughtful, hopeful, amazing. I was most sad to lose the relationship with his family. I just hope I never ever have to see that man again. I cringe when I think about how I actually thought I loved him. Pretty sad actually.

But I digress.

Today is a happy day for me. A reminder that there are good, amazing people in this world. A reminder that no matter the struggles, I can make it through anything.

If you're out there BT....thank you for showing me the way.


Unknown said...

And when I see your beautiful family and you and LW together, I know that he is your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Thank you for your comment on my blog. I wish you lived close by as well.

LV said...

Danica, you should write a book. You have had a most "interesting" life and it just keeps going. Sometimes, people are better off being just friends than being married. Also, it is so much better if you cannot live with someone, try to part on friendly terms. Sometimes, we have to go down the rough roads to find a smoother one. Once in awhile, you might find a pot at the end of the rainbow. I wish is for you to do so.

Stephanie said...

Oh I love learning more about you! Sounds like you have made some great decisons in your's important to know when to get out! The best is yet to come:)

gayle said...

I agree you should write a book!! Love how you care!!

Unknown said...

:) Love you!

Anonymous said...

What a lovely tribute to the special men in your life and good to see that you overcome the not-so-special one!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Wow--we sure have a lot of parallels, although my BH was just verbally abusive, not physically. Like you, I have only fond feelings for my first ex. I really believe that everyone comes into our lives for a reason, though. It's all good!