Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Week 3 Stats/Refocus

Weight = 2.5 lost (total of 6 pds in two weeks!)
Running/Walking = 4.10 miles walked/ran
Weights Lifed = 1 day lifted
Days at The Gym = 2 days
Days in the sauna = 2 days

So all in all I’m coming along nicely with the workouts and weight loss. I could have worked out more but I have been so busy getting ready for my surgery….getting the house cleaned and organized, etc. I want to make things reachable and handy as I’m told I won’t be able to do much stretching for awhile.

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My surgery is tomorrow. With that said I have decided to refocus my life……

After today I will no longer be that girl who will be TTC.

After today I will no longer be able to be a Mom to any biological children.

After today I will no longer take a birth control pill to ease the pain I have with endo.

After tomorrow I will be re-focusing my life.

I can sit around and feel sorry for myself….spend hours blaming my parents for my endometriosis….wonder what I could have done differently to change the outcome of my fertility…yell and scream at God for making me defective….cry, pout, whine.

But I can’t…and I won’t.

I am being challenged in ways I never thought I could handle. I’m going to have to learn how to live this new life, because truly it will be a new life.

I’ve started to focus on running and working out. The second the doctor releases me back to the gym, my main focus will be on my fitness. I am going to take control of me, because for the first time since I was 21, I will be free from pain. Free from the constraints that endo placed on my life.

I will still hurt emotionally. And that will take time to heal. With friends announcing their pregnancy’s right and left, and babies being born to friends and family at a constant rate it seems, things will be hard. There is no denying that. But if it’s one thing I refuse…I REFUSE to feel sorry for myself. God made me this way for a reason.

I will survive. Maybe a little heartbroken at first, but I will survive.

My saving grace is my positive attitude, the support from my friends and family, and two of the best future step daughters I could have ever asked for.

I will be gone from blog land for awhile. Hopefully after a couple of weeks I will return and tell you all about it; with my new positive attitude.

Until then, I’ll be working my tail off to get released in a timely manner from the hospital and then I will be buried on the couch surrounded by trashy TV and gobs of DVDs and books. Hopefully LW saw the signals I was flashing and purchased a pair of Ugg slippers that I have been dreaming about. A girl can dream, right?

A big shout out goes to my besties who took time out of their busy lives to take me to dinner on Sunday. I felt so honored, loved and appreciated. It’s not every day a girl has her insides removed ya know, so knowing I had their support was amazing. They came armed with casseroles, soup, snacks, magazines, a gift card for pizza, socks, and even a Scor Pal for when I am up and functioning! For those that don’t know, a Scor Pal is used for crafting cards and I’m pretty sure you could use it on scrapbooks too. It’s amazing! Thank you ladies! I love you all!

Today I’m fasting on liquids…ugh so not fun if you ask me. It’s my final day at work. Thank you to my blog friends for your continuing support. I’ll see you on the other side!

10 comments:

Liz said...

Love you chica :) You'll be on my mind all day tomorrow!

Julie said...

Good lucky, honey. This is a new page in your life that you are about to turn. And while it may mean you are not going to be a "biological" mother, it doesn't mean you won't be a mom in some way. And it's not all bad....you've never known a life without pain so this could open up a whole new lifestyle for you!

Please make sure LW has my number so that he can call me if you need anything ok? Love you much!

Allison said...

Sending you thoughts and prayers, Danica. You are handling all this with such grace. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. ((HUGS))

Emily said...

Love ya, girlie!

*big hugs*

Julie said...

I'm thinking of you, Danica! Let me know if there is anything at all that you may need in the next few days. ::hugs::

Kristen said...

Your strength and positive thinking is what makes you so great. I'll be sending positive thoughts and prayers your way tomorrow, and hope you're back on your feet very soon!

~*~*HUGS~*~*

Homesick Cajun said...

I've come by your blog from someone else's (for the life of me I can't remember who's! lol) and just wanted to wish you luck. From your last entry I'm guessing you're having a hysterectomy?

I had mine at 29, thank God my older sister had already had hers, she was so much help with all the questions I had!

I hope the surgery goes great and that you're up and out of the hospital asap! If you have any questions I'd be glad to help!

Dionne

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Take good care and feel better soon. I love your outlook. You will be a mommy...like Julie said.

Tooj said...

I cannot believe I'm so slow in catching up....your surgery was yesterday. :( I sincerely hope that everything went smoothly, that you are resting and recovering nicely and peacefully, and that you know ONE very important thing:

We are ALl defective.

I know that I cannot imagine how you must feel having this one part of you out of your control, but you are given gifts where others of us ARE defective. Your ability to mother and unconditionally love those children whom you didn't "create" is a defect many of us have. Your patience and discipline to better yourself with health, love, and life is an area in life where MANY are defective.

Recover and return quickly. :)

Colleen said...

I know that you are already home recovering, but I just want to say how much I love ya and admire you for so many things! :) xoxo