Tuesday, January 12, 2010

For a Reason

Things totally happen for a reason.

Remember my ex-boyfriend Shawn that I was dating during and after my separation/divorce? Well some of you may remember him (Julie I see you twisting in your seat!!!!), some may not…it was a nasty break up and he just plain wasn’t for me even though we had been friends for years (lesson learned, never date your friends!). I’m being kind because I do not want to bring up the past. It’s there for a reason.

Well we talked yesterday for the first time in probably 6 months. Every now and then I send him an email to catch up. I never hated him, I just stopped loving him and we just stopped working together. We were never on the same page of life. I was always 10 pages ahead. For as long as I can remember I was always finding guys that were never on the same page as me; of course until I found LW. Although most days I feel like I’m one page ahead of him, but one page is better than 10 pages. :)

Anyway Shawn is one big hot mess. After we broke up (over three years ago) he hasn’t dated long term, is disowned by his family, got back into drugs, got back off of drugs, in and out of rehab, almost lost his job, is mentally and physically drained…and just plain unhappy with life.

That could have been my life had we stayed together.

I’m a firm believer, that while our break up was nasty, it was meant to be. I could not imagine living my life with someone so out of control. It was great to talk to him but it saddened me that he let his life become what it is now. It proves we are the only ones in control of our happiness. He had so much potential. Underneath that tough exterior is really a good person, but not the person for me.

I’m grateful every day that I have LW….he’s stable, positive, loves the things I love (except for dogs!), has a great family, has wonderful friends, has beautiful, loving daughters, great job, has hobbies and a good life. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Things definitely happen for a reason….and I’m so happy they do!


Liz said...

Isn't it amazing how one bad thing can bring so many good things?

Sarah said...

i am believer, too!

i am glad things have turned around :)

jmt said...

You've never said truer words than "It proves we are the only ones in control of our happiness." True true true.

And for some, they never end up realizing that band-aids on all the little cracks just turn into a waterfall if they're not properly sealed.

I have an ex that I feel this very same way about. I don't feel compelled to stay in touch, however. He seems to try and find a way to still try and make his choices the fault, or at least partial blame, of someone else. Whenever I see him I still find him distractingly vulnerable to "the downward spiral".

My work is a work in progress certainly, but it's taken admission that errors were made and correcting them. Some find that step of the process easier than others. I'm glad you're one of them. :)

LV said...

Most of the time, things work out for the best. In your case, it sounds like you made the right move. You can never take anything for granted anymore. In fact, it is a shame, but I have a hard time trusting.

Unknown said...

The past is the past but like you, I reflect on what my life would've been like had I opted for "one more chance" with the cheating ex. I'm so glad that I am where I am and with who I am with.

You and LW are the perfect matching pair!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Without a doubt, I believe the universe unfolds in divine order. Even when things totally suck, you can rest assured that everything is, in fact, perfect.

Hugs to you, Danica. I'm sending healing vibes for a speedy recovery. XOXO