Friday, October 9, 2009

Birthday Blahs......

So I have a friend who sent me a text to remind me it's a male friend of ours birthday. I knew it. But I didn't say anything. If you know me, I won't forget your birthday. I will be one of the first to call you, text you, email you, send you a card, plan your party, etc. I buy all of the birthday cards at work....and I plan the birthday lunches. I post the birthdays for a chatboard I belong to. I seriously like making people feel important and special. Certainly no one wants to be ditched on their birthday!

Then I got to thinking...said friend and a few others never call, write or text me on my birthday. Ever. No one ever throws me a party (my ex did once but I think he was guilted into it). My 21st birthday was celebrated on my honeymoon with my first ex who forgot it was my birthday. My 30th was spent on an airplane flying home from a horrible trip to Las Vegas with my second ex. I have not spent but one or two birthdays with friends. No one has thrown me a girls dinner or a party or made a big deal of it...ever.

So I'm sitting here thinking to myself, why should I go out of my way for said friend above when I bet he doesn't even care when my birthday is?

Don't get me wrong. Most friends (and family) remember and call, send cards, buy gifts, etc. But I've never done a dinner or a party (well the one time). Sometimes I feel as if I care too much. I would go out of my way to make people I know and love feel special. Sometimes I wish people felt the same about me. Said friend and I have been friends for 10 years....there are a group of four of us and we always get together for everyone else's birthday...but my own. You know why? Because I'm the one who plans EVERYTHING. Quite frankly I'm tired of it. When is someone going to remember it's MY birthday? When is someone going to get MY friends together for a party?

It just gets frustrating.

Sometimes, if only for a moment, I wish someone would make a big deal out of my birthday.


I'm done complaining. Off to wish my friend the best birthday ever.


michele said...

Your blog was in the suggested reads of my blog feed a while back, and I've been reading ever since. I really enjoy your posts a lot. I've just gotta say that you sound like an amazing woman!

The way you treat your friends' birthdays sounds so much like my mom. She always goes out of her way to make people feel special, and she is always the one to buy the one gift they really wanted. For her, I truly think she gets more joy out of giving than receiving. Still, it would be nice to be remembered just once in a while, I'm sure. My guess is that your friends just depend on you too much.

I hope they'll remember to plan something in your honor on your next birthday. You deserve it!

Coloradolady said...

You are not alone..I feel the same way....and I stopped doing makes me feel like crap about it, but hey....when family NEVER send a card, call, all you get is NOTHING for your kids, husband, and self..well....I said enough is enough...I hate the fact that it came to that...but it just the same.

Tooj said...

Stop waiting for everyone else and throw your own party. :) That's what I would do. And plan on doing, actually. Unfortunately some people just don't have the "capacity" to think beyond themselves....don't fall trap into egging this behavior on. But at the same time...just because people are not "doing unto you" as you would like, does that mean that you shouldn't "do unto them"? Just asking. :)

ModernMom said...

Ahhhh You are the planner, the glue. I get that because I often fall into space!
Make sure with all your planning you take time to take care of you.
Oh and throw some hints to those girls of yours that its their turn to bake a cake and stir the martinis!

LV said...

I am so sorry you have so many negative things going in your life now. Just remember, there is a reason or purpose for everything, whether we understand it or not. I know it is easier for me to tell you to think positive and hang in there as I am not in your shoes. If it it something, we can not anything about, we have acept and let go. Take care.