Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Put your right arm in, pull your right arm out....

There’s something growing in my arm. Yup, something according to the doctor. Could be a tumor, could be nothing. I have to go for more testing to find out.

This you ask was from three months ago.

I’m afraid to go back to the doctor.

I’ve had tests run on it, x-rays, cortisone shots…my arm has been pulled on, massaged, man handled, you name it. And still, three months later it’s got something in there that is as hard as a rock.

After a painful episode last night, I thought I would call my doctor this morning.

But yup, I’m still afraid. I’ve never been afraid of anything like this in my life. I’m always on top of my health. Not this time. I DO NOT want any kind of surgery on my arm.

It’s the right arm. How does one live without the use of their right arm? How will I do my rats nest I call hair? How will I shave my legs? Hello! I’m all girl here!

So today, my hand hurts because my arm hurts (it’s the part of the arm between the hand and the elbow that is injured). My shoulder hurts because my arm hurts. The pain is so unbelievable, yet I continue to live with it day in and day out. It wasn’t until last night that LW realized it’s still a problem. You could see how much bigger it has gotten. Frightening.

I need no convincing to call the doctor, I just need strength. I’m super afraid of the unknown at the moment.

11 comments:

Allison said...

((HUGS)) Sending good thoughts and prayers of strength to you!!!

Tooj said...

Just think of it as another task. I finally had to do that about the dentist. If I sat on the fear, I'd never go...and didn't for a long time. But finally I said "this is just something that has to get done" and so I went. And I said that for every subsequent visit that was required because of my absence. LOL You can do it. Let the doc fix you up. You'll be mad at yourself for wasting so much time being hurt when you could be healing right now. :)

ModernMom said...

Oh my dear....wishing you strength. I am the same way. Exactly.
Let us know how you make out!!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

The not knowing is more of a stress than the knowing, right? So, do yourself a big favor and find out what it is. It may be something that can be blasted with a laser.

Better yet, LW can be your right hand man! ;)

Crystal said...

I wish you the best, my friend! I think it's from too much hair styling and shaving, personally. So stop! :-)

Julie said...

Get thee to the doctor. Stop being a pussy.

Yeah, I said pussy on your proper little blog.

Danica said...

OMG Julie said Pussy!

Colleen said...

Hugs... keep us updated! :) And I have a right arm that I'd be more than happy to lend if you needed help with anything! :)

tbonegrl said...

LOL @ Julie!

Go!! Go go go!

A Stitch In Thyme said...

May God's grace & healing bless you as you make the call. Now go to the appt and find out it's just a cyst that needs lanced.... :)

AMIT said...

Hey late good wishes from my side too.

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