Thursday, July 16, 2009

The joys of a non-sleeper.

I’m so tired I think my head could spin right off and I wouldn’t even notice. I’m sleep deprived beyond comprehension. I’m so tired that I could have easily closed my eyes on the way to work and fell asleep at the wheel.

I’ve always had sleep issues. As I get older, they get worse. I’m not worried about my relationship because that is good. I’m not worried about Kassidy because that is going fine. I just can’t sleep. But because I’m so sleep deprived I think right now I could sleep for days.

I can only pin point that I am suffering from some kind of anxiety. I’m always always on the go. I never relax or sit in front of the TV for hours corrupting my brain with senseless TV shows. I’m reading, cleaning, scrapbooking (which I haven’t done in a while), out with friends or family, working in the yard, volunteering, working, cleaning some more, talking on the phone, working on the computer, shopping at Target…. I.CAN’T.SIT.STILL and it’s killing me.

I grieve the loss of my Mom, but that’s not keeping me up at night anymore. It is what it is. She’s gone and her memory lives on inside of me. LW and I, while we are communicating better, there are still issues, but nothing that keeps me up worrying at night. He is who he is and he loves me and I love him. So why God, why won’t you let me sleep a full night with uninterrupted sleep? Please just once let me wake up in the same position I fell asleep in. Please let me sleep so peacefully that I don’t have to wake up four and five times a night to tinkle and I call it tinkle because it’s not an all out shower of pee when I haven’t drank anything!

I’m not on any medication that would cause me to not sleep. I’m always hot so the air is turned up high, when clearly in Ohio it’s not much needed right now with the weather as nice as it has been. My bed is fluffy and comfy. My sheets are clean. The TV is off. The room is dark. I exercise on a fairly regular basis. I don’t drink caffeine past a certain time of the day. WTH?

I think if I could, I’d crawl under my desk right now and sleep. I’m THAT tired. My eyes are swollen, my head hurts and no amount of caffeine is gonna snap me back into reality.

Anyone else have similar issues or have tips and tricks they use to fall asleep? Just ask my friend Crystal, she experienced my inability to sleep while we were in Chicago.

Ah the joys of a non-sleeper. Think its heredity?

3 comments:

Liz said...

Have you tried to wind down prior to going to sleep by taking a bath, reading on the couch (or in a bubble bath), drinking a glass of hot tea? I would try those. Or even just try a 1/2 of a Tylenol PM. If they don't work (or if you've tried them), I'd talk to your dr.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Girl, get some malatonin. You can find it at a vitamin store. Be prepared though for an 8 hour sleep. If you don't sleep 8 hours, you're going to wake up and feel like you need a few more hours.

Let me know if it helps.

Tooj said...

That sucks. I hope the suggestions you get help you out. I don't sleep well right now either, but that's because of the 15 month old who thinks the world revolves around him. :) Happy Thursday, and hopefully tonight will be dreamy!