Friday, February 27, 2009

Be a donor, save a life.

A very dear co-worker of mine has a daughter who was diagnosed with Leukemia a little over two weeks ago. Thankfully the chemo is helping and as of today there was NO Leukemia to be found. GREAT NEWS!!!!!

However, she will be tested again in two weeks and if at that time the Leukemia is present she will under go a bone marrow transplant. I have offered to get tested.

But in the mean time, I decided to register myself incase my co-worker didn't need to test me, which I pray with all I have that they won't need me because it would be so awesome to see Whitney beat this without having a transplant.

It's so easy people. You take a swab of your spit and send it back to the national donor registery. It's not that hard.

Take a moment of your time to save a life!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Bones in the floor board, Julie and her Mary Kay, and a conversation with my Mother.

HUH???? Did I really dream all of that last night? Who would have thought that one Tylenol PM would put me in such a state of relaxation to the point where I'm cramming everything and anything I can dream about into one night!

Bones in the Floor Board:
Really? I was an investagator on a case and I was searching for a missing body and low and behold the bones were buried beneath the floor board of some old house. See I have been thinking about a career change. All of my adult life I have wanted to go back to school and study forensic science and the more the economy changes, the more I want to go back to school and focus on a career change. Don't know if I could make it happen, but it's worth thinking about anyway.

Julie and Mary Kay:
See Julie and I have a passion for expensive purses. In my dream Julie gave me a designer purse of hers that she no longer wanted. Inside of the ugliest purse I have ever was navy with lime green on the inside...and it had like 50 billion pockets....was the largest stash of Mary Kay I have ever seen. First off I don't even know if Julie uses Mary Kay and second off the eye shadow shades were insanely ugly....blues...greens...purples. The funniest part was I offered to give her the Mary Kay back and she said no way. WILD

Conversation with my Mother:
I have been missing her like crazy lately. I'll be thinking about something fun and happy and in the next minute she'll pop into my head and I'll be sad for a bit. But last night in my dream her and I talked. I don't know about what, but I remember feeling comfort and peace with the conversation. Honestly it was so real. I woke up thinking I had just really talked to her and that all along I was just dreaming she died. That's the part that hurts the most.

All in all I had some crazy messed up dreams. I think I'm ....missing Julie, needing a career change and missing my momma!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Kassidys 10th Birthday

LW threw Kassidy a surprise 10th birthday party yesterday at Sweet & Sassy which is a place that was unheard of for my generation. The girls put on a rockstar concert...topped with punk rock hair, nails and makeup. The girls had a blast. It was so easy to see on their little faces how much fun they were having.

Daddy-O as Kassidy likes to call LW, was the hero of the day.

The limo was not part of Kassidy's party but I couldn't resist taking a picture of her in front of it.

Before the party started though, we had family time at my house, where Kassidy opened up some of her presents.

Boots and Boomer got Kassidy the Alley Cat (Webkins) for her birthday.

All in all I think everyone had a great time...even me and Daddy-O.

Happy Birthday Kassidy!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I freaking owe on my taxes.

Poop. It's not a lot but it's the point. I took a pay out on my IRA to get ahead after my divorce before I realized I was getting an inheritance, thus, I didn't take out enough taxes and for some reason they didn't take out state taxes...thus I owe about $800. Not bad I guess, but it sure would have been nice to have more dollars floating around. But I'll live.

I'm off to the gym and to tan this morning. LW and Kassidy are at his place and I'm sure they are both still fast asleep. I miss them both.

Kassidy and I had so much fun shopping for her birthday present from me last night. I didn't know what to get her so I took her clothes shopping. Three outfits and three pairs of shoes later I was broke! HA $335 broke. I'm so lucky I never had kids...cause they would break me because I LOVE buying children's clothing, books, etc.

Tonight I was suppose to go to Bunco, but I had forgotten that tonight we are taking Kassidy out for her birthday...just the three of us. Tomorrow is her big party and I can't wait for her to be surprised!!! Daddy did a good job.

Peace out folks. I'll be back tomorrow!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Baby Blues

My heart hurts a little bit.

See, I think I want a baby. I’m not 100% sure, but I’m leaning in the ways of wanting one. Spending more time with Kassidy only makes me wish I could have someone call me Mom.

I tried talking to LW about it last night, but he’s very sure he doesn’t want another child. I do not fault him either. He’s 43 with a two beautiful girls (17 and soon to be 10). He’s a very lucky man. His girls are beautiful, well behaved and all around amazing. They both have a wonderful life ahead of them. I’m grateful to have Kassidy and Lauren in my life and I would never treat them any differently than I would treat my own child. But that’s just it…I don’t have my own child. I don’t have a child I can bake cupcakes for and send to school…I don’t have a child I can sit down and write out Valentine’s with.

I want that.

But I also know my body’s limitations. I understand I’m 35 with a messed up fallopian tube, who is riddled with endometriosis. I’m in pain constantly and will be having the talk with my O/B this year about removing my left ovary…the pain is that horrible. I’ve been on fertility drugs…shots in the butt…been put in early menopause to help with my endio…three surgeries…three miscarriages…and so on.

So why would I ever think in a million years I could carry a baby? My odds are so low. Why would I want to put myself back through that pain? Or have LW watch as I struggle?

I think I’m sitting here answering myself.

I will never be a Mother. I don’t have the funds put aside to adopt and I physically cannot get pregnant on my own.

It’s all so very hard right now. I went to bed crying about this…and honestly there is little LW can do to fix this. Even if he said he would like a baby with me, my odds are horrible when it comes to getting pregnant. I tried for four years with my first husband and almost two years with my second. I can’t go through that again.

Someday I’ll be okay with it…but not today.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Darn you Simi!

My friend Simi is getting a new car...or at the very least talking about this new car she is wanting/purchasing/lusting over...making me jealous over. HA!

And because of her I'm BACK to drooling over the car that I want soooooo bad right now.

LW told me I could get it but what does he know? He doesn't control my money...we don't live seriously what does he have to lose by telling me to go for it? HA! I told him I'm going to wait until he moves in to get a new car...although I must say...I drool more and more every day over this vehicle. WAAHHHHHH I just financially don't want to make that commitment to a new car until I become a two income household with him.

The car I drive now is great....been wrecked once and had a bullet hole repaired recently, but it's a super car (2005 Honda Accord Sedan). Beautiful car, so why do I lust over the Mercedes C300??? Because that car rides like no other car I have been in. The seats hug my butt and make me feel all nice and secure. The surround sound is amazing...the ride is smooth...shit Simi if I come home with a car this weekend, I'll be sure to send you the payment book!!!

I need to go focus on something else......

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Missing LW

LW flew to Arizona this afternoon to visit with his oldest daughter Lauren. I packed up a little Valentine gift for Lauren and sent LW on his way.

I'm already missing him. We haven't been apart this long since June last year. He won't be home until Tuesday around 11pm or midnight. ::sigh:: I'll manage as after today I'll be working and occupied with upgrading our Financial system at work.

I just pray with all of this news surrounding the Hudson River plane crash and the newest plane crash in Buffalo, that LW returns home to me safe and sound.

In other news I hope to get caught up on blogs, posts and Facebook today. So far so good. My boss gave us a couple of days off, so today is my last day before the storm hits tomorrow. HA

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

LW was good to me. He surprised me with little gifts, chocolate, a romantic dinner and three Troll Beads for my bracelet.

Monday, February 9, 2009

No More Bloggin....For Now

I have to hold off from blogging and even reading people's blogs. Work is horrible right now, thus all I do is eat, sleep (very little of that) and work. I had in over 90 hours last week. I'm tired. I miss LW. I miss Kassidy. I miss my friends.

Yesterday I had two whole hours to myself so I cleaned my house. It was a disaster!

So I'm going away for a little while.

I hope to be back to blogging by the middle of February. My project is slated to be completed by Feb 16th however, I'll be in a 30 day warranty period fixing bugs. But hopefully the bugs are few and far between. I can't handle many more 90 hour work weeks.

I'm losing my mind!

Monday, February 2, 2009

25 Random Things About Me

I have been tagged on Facebook and through emails, etc. so I'm going to do what Julie did and just post them on here. If you want to post one on your blog, then TAG YOU'RE IT!

1. I've been married and divorced twice...both with the name Brian.
2. I own my own home and that's an accomplishment because my parents never owned one.
3. I received my bachelors degree in Business 15 years after graduating high school.
4. I knew Neil Patrick Harris. We competed in band together and his dad was our mock trial coach in high school.
5. I'm obcessed with weight. My mom was anorexic so I try not to lose weight but I also try not to gain as much either.
6. I miss my Mom every day. Life is hard without her.
7. I had hip surgery when I was one because I was born with a congenital hip disease.
8. I've had three miscarriages.
9. I'm embarrased by the size of my boobs. I really want to be a B cup.
10. I don't answer the phone if I don't have to. I'd text you all day if you want though.
11. I say good night to my Mom and God every night when I get into bed.
12. Sometimes I wish I had someone to call me Mom.
13. The navigation in my car is on the fritz and that makes me sad.
14. I love the weekends when LW has Kassidy. She makes life better.
15. I once broke my arm on NYE because I slipped in the bathroom getting down from plucking my eyebrows in the mirror.
16. I broke my leg on a trampolin when I was little so I'm deathly afraid of them now.
17. I hate CLOWNS, I hate the Circus.
18. I buy way too many shoes. I have over 80 pair.
19. I've always dreamed of going to Ireland.
20. I'd say yes if LW asked me to marry him.
21. My Mom has been gone over a year now and I still won't remove her address from my address book or take her phone number out of my cell phone.
22. My brother and I are one year, one day and 23 hours and 11 mins (I think) apart. We are often mistaken for twins.
23. I'm organized as hell at home. Everything has it's place and nothing is randomly left out.
24. I love to read, but I can't borrow the book. I have to buy it. I'm obcessed with collecting books.
25. My favorite color is orange. I have an orange bathroom!