Monday, January 5, 2009

Sometimes I Just Want to Fit In

That's how I feel today. I feel like I try so hard to be friends with people and fit into their cliques and I just don't. I don't know why, but I wish I did.

Ever since I was in grade school I was the nice girl you wanted to be friends with, but for some reason I wasn't invited to parties or social gatherings. It always bothered me as a kid. And now as an adult, those cliques still exist and yet I'm still the nice girl you want to know, but not the one you want to hang out with. If I'm not the one planning the party, lunch, dinner, etc, then people most likely aren't calling me to come to a gathering, or a cookout or shopping.

It's lonely sometimes.

I know it doesn't make sense but it's bothered me the last couple of days and talking about it helps.

::sigh::

12 comments:

Trisha.R.Jackson said...

I'm right there with you. I was never the popular girl. I never really aspired to be. I had my "nerdy" friends (as DH puts it) and the athletes. And even within the group of athletes, I struggled socially with them. It's funny that you posted about this. I met up with some of those old friends over the holidays. It's amazing that some still have the same personalities and bring me back to that uneasy feeling. One in particular was always "holier than though". I think I b*tched about it to DH for days.

Julie said...

Aw, do I need to kick somebody's ass for you? Because I'm into it today. LOL

You're one of my peeps, if that helps. :)

Lyndsay said...

Danica - I could have written this post. It sucks being the odd man out. The only cliques I have ever fit in was my group from college. We are still great friends today but everyone lives across the state. I can't call them to say hey lets go shopping at 12:00. It sucks not having them close. I do feel very lonely at times as well. (((hugs)))!

Simi said...

I'm so right there with you, it's funny though cause aaron is ok with that status and I'm kind of like.. "don't you wish..." and he's like nope I'm good... it's got to be to a certain extent a boy vs girl difference and since I've always been closer friends with guys then girls I just never developed that solid circle... I woulnd't worry about it too much though my dear... with time all things have a way of falling into place :)

travel girl said...

I would hang out with you if I lived in Ohio!

And remember..You are fabulous!

Sue said...

Fitting in is overrated. I used to care that I was never popular, never felt comfortable with groups. I can get along, but I never really feel like one of them. Then in the last 5 years or so I decided I was ok with it (just like Simi's dh). I sometimes wonder if I'll become a recluse in my later years because I really enjoy just being with myself and DH now and don't even really try very hard to get along with others. It just doesn't seem worth the effort most times. Maybe now that you found LW, things like this will matter less as time goes on. I hope you find what makes you comfortable, whatever that may be.

Crystal (tropical.dreams) said...

I am very much an independent person where friends are concerned. In fact, it's honestly been at least 4 months since I've hung out with anyone that I consider a "friend". I go shopping by myself, see movies by myself...I haven't had anyone that I've been able to just call up and say, "Hey, let's go here!" for probably at least 4 years. Not that I wouldn't love to have a friend or a group of friends that I could do that with...I just don't. And I've learned to accept that. Sad, I know. But sometimes, it is what it is. Anyway...you've got my e-mail address, chickiedee, so feel free to get at me if you ever want to go do something! (((hugs)))

jannypie said...

i feel this way too, often, i think a lot of women do-- especially the ones who are drawn to nest boards. but i think you're wrong on at least one account-- i LOVE hanging out with you! you are one of the sweetest most genuine people i've ever met, and i would do it any time! (hang out with you, i mean, not "do it", although you're pretty hot too, so maybe i would, if i had enough wine)

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I SO know what you're talking about! In fact, there are times when I'm the only one feeling this way. I moved away from a town that I had been for 24 years into an area where I knew and still know no one. I'm not one to socialize with people on my job...I dunno but I just feel like I'd be stabbed in the back somehow. (Trust issues, I know.)

My twin sister is my closest friend and has been even throughout high school but she lives over an hour and half away so I do feel lonely. Having a girl friend to chit chat with makes a huge difference. I love Boo but there are just some things that don't click the same way when you're hanging with a girl friend.

Fragrant Liar said...

You are speaking my language. Too bad we're not closer -- maybe we anti-clique chicks could hang out. I've been feeling rather lonely myself lately (recently divorced). But I think a lot of that is grief in disguise. My little sister died last October in a car wreck, and I've been experiencing waves of grief and then numbness, followed by some kind of loneliness and sadness that I believe is yet another layer of freakin' grief.

Anyway, I'd like to leave you with this to say to yourself:

I am enough.

Because you are. We all are. Look me up when you get down to Austin some time.

KJ
http://fragrantliar.blogspot.com

Jody said...

Danica, sometimes I feel the same way. I could have written your post, and I think there are many of us out there. And for the record, I LOVE hanging out with you!

Natalie said...

Oh my this post sounds EXACTLY like me! I feel the same way. I know I have only met you once but I think you are a great person and I would hang out with you anytime.