Wednesday, December 3, 2008


I never got around to blogging about my Thanksgiving. I debated if I should discuss it because it was rather peaceful, but difficult. It was the first Thanksgiving without my mom. I can't begin to explain the emptiness it created in my heart.

The night before Thanksgiving my mom and I always got together at my house and made the turkey. We'd eat pizza and chocolate chip cookies all night. Then I would drive her home super late only to have her call me at 6am telling me to put the turkey in the oven. Ah those were the days.

Over the years my family decided on doing a breakfast rather than turkey dinner since all of us were eating two turkey dinners that day. None the less I was still up late prepping the house and the breakfast menu.

So the night before Thanksgiving this year I went to the gym and thought about the past. I came home and LW took such good care of me. It's like he knew how painful this day was going to be for me. He made dinner. So sweet. While in the shower after dinner I just lost it. I haven't balled like that in months. The pain was all surfacing.

After the shower LW held me in his arms and just let me be mum (which is nearly impossible at times for me) the entire evening. He knew what was wrong without me saying a word.

After that, I got my act together and preparred a nice breakfast for my family. No big family pictures this year. No trip to the nursing home. Nothing. It was peaceful but strange. We talked about mom as I presented all of the girls (plus my brother) with an angel visor clip for their cars. I told them that's where I think about mom the most. Every time I touch my garage door opener my hand brushes the clip and I'm instantly reminded of her.

After breakfast LW and I drove to his mom's house for a wonderful family dinner. Everyone was so sweet to me. I had great conversation with everyone. I felt like I fit in which is such an amazing feeling.

His mom is SO MUCH like my mom. Everything from her clothing, to her hair, to her knick knacks reminded me of my mom. It was eerrie at first but then oddly enough it became a good feeling. It was as if she was going to help me through this difficult time. Even when I hugged her good-bye, her brittle bones reminded me of my mom.

Here are a couple of my favorite pictures from this year:

I hope each of you had a blessed holiday. I know I'm grateful for my family and friends. Without them I don't know how I could have gotten through this year.

Love and hugs to all.


Trisha.R.Jackson said...

(((Hugs))). What a great support system you have. I can't even imagine how tough Thanksgiving must have been.

Julie said...

Aw, I know how hard these first holidays are. I'm so glad you have such a great guy there to help you through. There are no coicidences....I think he was meant to be!

travel girl said...

Wonderful man to help you through this tough time!

I agree with Jules. Totally meant to be.