Monday, October 6, 2008

Emotional Weekend

While I had a very nice, relaxing weekend, it was a rather emotional one for me.

Saturday would have been my 5 year wedding anniversary. I'm not grieving the loss of my marriage, but more the loss of being part of a family. My family isn't all that close so B's family filled such a huge void. I miss them. I miss laughing with the girls and being a part of a yearly Thanksgiving tradition of drinking beer with the boys at a pub the day after Thanksgiving. I also miss the family feeling that comes with being married. I'm not saying you can't get that in a relationship like what LW and I have, but we're not there yet, as much as I wish we were. I pray for someday though.

Sunday I got up and went to my mom's church. The entire drive I was crying and thinking about how I should be picking her up for church or meeting her in the back of the church where she always sat. When I made it through the double doors, I felt a sense of comfort and I let the flood gates go. I ran into so many people I knew through her and even the pastor came up to me before the service to wish me a blessed day and to make sure my family and I are doing well. I felt so at home! When I sat down a lady held my hand and let me cry and told me stories about my mom. Such a wonderful woman to make sure I was okay.

During the service the pastor announced that they had a very special visitor today. When they announced that I was there the entire congregation errupted in applause and I even got some 'aws'. It was emotional. After the service my mom's best friend, who I haven't seen since the funeral, came up to me and hugged me with all she had and told me I better be coming back. Right then and there I made a commitment to come back in two weeks. It felt so good being around my mom's church family. I can't wait to go back! I even ran into an old high school friend.

After church I drove to the cemetary and chatted with my mom. She gave me so much strength yesterday. And because of her I'm going to become a better person.

The rest of Sunday was glorious and peaceful.

Hope all of you had a great weekend!


Julie Reeg said...

Sorry I hogged all the talk time at dinner tonight.

I'm glad you went to church and I think going back is GREAT. It seems like something you really need to be close to your Mom right now...

Love you!

erinann said...

Wishing you much love, happiness and peace. No one deserves it more!