Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I - cut - my - hair - off - !

LOL I have to laugh because for almost a year I tried to grow my hair out to what it was back in 2001. I'm very impatient. I just couldn't wait around for my hair to grow. I mean, why can't I take a pill and have it grow long over night?

Anyway, my do is short...choppy....with short bangs....and lots of attitude. I always felt more confident with short hair. It's like I have the world on my shoulders when my hair is short. Strange huh? Today I'm not liking it so much because I haven't quite gotten the hang of styling it, so it will be a few more days before I post a picture of it.

I need a little more glue here and a lot more paste there. HA!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Wondering When

I really need to get my A$$ out of this funk I'm in. I don't know what the heck I'm so sad about other than I'm just plain lonely.

Mr. Right, are you out there? If so, please come find me! Pretty please?!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Feeling Poopy

I'm not gonna complain.

I just want to say....
sometimes life isn't so easy or fair.

I'm just sayin....

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Dating is so hard!

I'm not a fan of dating at all. It's difficult on so many levels. Trying to find that special connection with someone seems almost impossible. I know my special someone is out there. I just wish that my time was now. I know I have a lot of healing to do emotionally, however I really feel like I have so much to give to someone.

Sorry for babbeling...just having a down day. Nothing special happened just wishing I had someone special to share quiet moments with.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Mother, Daughter

This is my favorite picture of my mom and I the day before I graduated from Franklin University in May 2006. I am SO grateful that she was able to see me accomplish my goal. It meant the world to me.

Happy Birthday Mom

Today would have been my mother's 69th birthday. I'm so confused about how I should feel. I'm sad of course, but a part of me, a teniiee tiny part of me, is happy that she now gets to celebrate her birthday with her parents and her sister (they have been gone a very long time). It feels weird not calling her and wishing her well on her day, or taking her to dinner, or just hearing her say something. I never really realized how insightful my mom was until she was gone.

Before I get all teary eyed, I'll just say Happy Birthday Mom. I hope heaven is as beautiful as it sounds.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Drama with a sump pump and email.

I know I know. You're wondering how in the heck do those two things relate? Well honestly they don't, but both happened to me yesterday. And both completely wore me out.

Yesterday I went down to the basement to change the cat litter when I noticed water all around my sump pump. Thankfully my basement wasn't floaded but none the less there was water in places it shouldn't be. I frantically moved boxes and furniture so as not to see anything get ruined any further. Nothing appeared to be ruined and I was able to get everything dried out.

Once I mopped up the water I had to figure out what happened. I picked up my phone and dialed my brother's home number hoping (and praying) he was there to help me diagnose my 'issue'. It's always nice having a brother who is handy!!! Of course if he didn't live an hour or so away he would have been there in a heart beat to help me. Come to find out, the crimps around the rubber on the pipe came lose and allowed water to spray, and I mean spray all over the concrete wall and floor. UGH

Today I looked and my handy work fixed the job!!! YEAH!!! Now the drying out period has started. See, single girls CAN take care of a home on their own. :-)

So you want to know why I posted about drama with email? Well if you have a parent, who has NEVER used or owned a home computer, you can understand my frustration. I spent over an hour on the phone (at 10 in the evening MY time - dad lives in Nevada - three hours behind) trying to teach my dad how to log into his email (a guy at some shop showed him out, but he didn't take notes!) and how to surf the internet. OOOIIIEEE I wanted to strangle him by the time the call was over. HE HE HE I should be careful though...he might find my blog! :-)

Today I'm hoping for some peace and quiet. AND NO DRAMA!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Missin' Mamma

My mother's birthday is on Monday and I'm dreading it terribly. I would be planning her party with the family and getting everything organized about now. I feel kind of lost. Like I'm missing this little piece of me. I just want to pick up the phone and have her say "Let me check my calendar" and "Oh that sounds good." She never aruged with us and she never said NO to anything.

Last year we had a cook out at my brother's house for her birthday and she had to leave early, as she had just gotten out of the hospital not long before her birthday. I remember that day so clearly because I took a ton of pictures and her remark to me was "Are you afraid I'm going to die?" I wanted to say "YES" but I just said that we need to keep our family documented as we grow and change every year. It's so true though...think about how big your child was last year, or even about how much you as a person has changed within the last year. I look at myself and realize how incredibly stong I have become in just a years time. I lost a serious boyfriend, friends, and my mother. I struggled at work and at home. But I survived...some how some way God wants me to be successful.

So I keep trudging along, as sad and hard as it is. I keep my head up the best I know how. I just miss her something terrible right now.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

A poke here, a prick there!

No one told me that going to a muscle doctor was going to be so painful. OWWIIEEEEE After sweating a whole bunch and walking what seemed to be a mile to the doctors office from the parking lot, I got a chance to learn all about the muscles in my body. Pretty interesting if I do say so myself. Basically I have been having pain in my right shoulder blade area for over a year. Last year my family doctor sent me to physical therapy which didn't work. I've had deep tissue massages that didn't work. So I just gave up...decided to live with the pain. :-(

Fast forward now to March when I had my terrible cold. I go to the doctor and he asked me how my shoulder was doing. I explained that the pain is still there and I decided to live with it. He wasn't having it! So today I ventured to a muscular doctor. Fantastic! He hooked me up to this little machine and started sending electrical currents through my right arm and shoulder. If the doctor would have been any closer, I think my arm would have jerked and slapped him in the who-ha. :-) After that he took a very LONG pin and stuck it deep into my muscle on my arm, shoulder, neck and back. Lovely. It hurt..I hurt more. Now I'm covered in little holes.

I wonder if I have a drink of water, will it come out all of the tiny holes? HA!

The muscle doctor thinks I have mild muscle damage on my right side, but he thinks it could be due to a cyst on a bone in my back or a lygament (did I spell that wrong?). Now I get to go see my orthopedic surgeon whom I just love (he's worked on my hip, knee and elbow - all left side!)

Anyhow..I've been bad at blogging. I get lazy when I get home from work. Mostly I just wanna sit down and read my book for book club (Hissy Fit by Mary Kay Andrews).

On another thing....I've been trying to lose weight. I've been soo soo at it since I started in early January. I'm now down 5.5 pounds. Not a lot you say, but I've managed to keep it up. I've been off from the gym for over a month now due to this cold. I'm hoping to start back full time tomorrow! YEAH My goal is to lose 10.5 more pounds. I pray I can do it!!!

I'm off to get changed and head to Isaiah's. That boy is winning my heart slowly. :-)

Friday, April 4, 2008

I'm thankful for.....

~my family
~my friends
~my house
~my job
~my health
~my cats

Sometimes we forget that things could be worse. I realize I have the ability to help and inspire other people. I only hope that somehow someway I have been able to be a support system and a friend to those who need me.

Party Like a Rockstar

It's so late for me to be up blogging, but I can't sleep, I'm still sick and well I'm a little tipsy. My friend Bev came over when I got home from the gym and we decided to head to Chad's house to finish watching the OSU game. One drink lead to another and so on. I'm not drunk, but I'm definately sporting a headache and craving the ability to sleep.

So here I sit blogging, watching Days of Our Lives, wishing my life was as fantastic as those beautifiul women on the soap opera. :sigh: One day my knight and shining armour or prince charming as I would prefer since I don't like the midevil times, will show up and spoil me with kisses and flowers and love. What girl doesn't want to be the center of attention? B ut do those men exist? I'm sure they do, but my guess is they are in happy, successful relationships.

It's funny because I was telling Bev and Chad tonight that I'm okay being single. It's just there are moments where I wish I was a part of someone else. One has to learn to be happy with themself before they can learn to be happy in a relationship. And that I am working on.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Getting Caught Up

I seriously need to learn to blog every day. It's not like I can't sit on my couch now and blog and watch tv. BEST INVENTION EVER~

I'll catch you up:

~ I had my brother's kids Saturday night. They were so very good to me. We went to the movies, baked cookies, played the Wii and watched movies all night. They were so much fun. But I'd be lying if I didn't sigh a little when they left and there was no one around me talking. HA HA I still miss those little buggers.

~ Things with Isaiah are interesting. He's good to me even though most often he is grumpy. I guess I just know how to talk to a grump. :-) I gave him a little gift on Friday night and he got the biggest smile on his face and it even inspired him to give me a hug!

~ I'm thinking about post poning my trip to San Diego this May. I've run into some issues and not sure I should pull money out right now. We'll see. Time is ticking away on RSVPing though. UGH I would feel so bad if I didn't make it to the wedding though.

~ No new home improvements looming. I can't wait to get outside and work on my flower beds though.

I found this picture and it made me teary eyed. It's the last picture I have of my mom and it was taken on Thanksgiving.

Until next time....